wishing for a rebirth!!

                                                     

i wish ..i was invisible...nobody could see me...
even not my shadow..and i wish..
i could be able to see everything..
so silenty,deadly...

i just wish,i wish myself-flying,surfing,living...
i wish ..i wasnot dead..

instead was alive..like the trees around me...
like the holy birds above ...
like the insects crawling down...
like the purest hearts in love...

i wish,i could tear my grave.....
i could let me free about...
raising my hands up for the help...
i wish i could cry aloud....

i am not afraid of death...oh not at all..
but i dont want to lose my world...
i wish i could come out of the grave....
and show to world,that i am still here!!

sincerely,not afraid of death..
it comes,takes off,its always the same....
its just i want to be silent more and more....
more and more, i want to feel every beats of heart,
listen every ticks of silence....
i want to feel the magic here....

i wish...i could feel the grasses...
could still fly with my dreams..
i wish...i could live again..
in this world again so green ....

i wish..i could, just could be alive...
giggling and laughing....see..oh breathing and living..
i wish ... i wasnot dead..

                                                                                              -2068-2-12-thursday-7:30 pm
                                                                                              -26th may,2011
                                                 

FOR THOSE,WHO GAVE US OUR LIFE!!!!

                                                   सबै जन्मदाता मा समर्पित :) :)
                                                      we all love our parents
                                      

तिमी हाँस्दा हाँस्थ्यो धर्ती अनि हाँसो वरीपरी

रुँदा तिमी रुन्थ्यो बादल संगै झरी पर्ने गरि
नहुँदा तिमी एक्लाएकलै लालाबाला बिचल्लीमा
हुँदा तिमी साथ मा सधैं बेग्लै हुन्थ्यो चुरीफुरी

रिसाउँदा गद्याङ्गुदूङ् कालो निलो हुन्थ्यो गगन
रिसाउँन नि नजान्ने खै रोइदिये हाँस्थ्यौ तिमी
एकछिनलाई म हराउँदा रुँदै रुँदै खोज्न हिँड्थ्यौ
साँच्चै हराएथेँ सम्झ कसरी पो बाँच्थ्यौ तिमी

हात समाउन पाउदा बाघै मार्ने हुन्थ्यो शाहस
समातेको छोडिदा हात शाहस सबै तहस्नहस
नजिक हुँदा हुन्थ्यो सारा न्यानोपना आँफैसँग
टाढा भये तेसै तेसै निस्सासिएर अटस्पटस

भाषा रचिदिन्थ्यौ,तोते बोली पनि बुझ्थ्यौ तिमी
एकछिन रोइदिये सम्झ कति आँसु पुछ्थ्यौ तिमी
बगाउने झरी आवोस छुन दिदैनथ्यौ बरु ,
काख मा मलाई लुकाएर छाता बन्थ्यौ रुझ्थ्यौ तिमी

थाकेर कैले थाक्दैनथ्यौ या थाकें म भन्दैनथ्यौ
लुकेर तिमी रुन्थ्यौ थाहा छ तर आसुँ गन्दैनथ्यौ
कान समाइ आफ्नै बरु तेसै जिताइदिन्थ्यौ तिमी
कथा मा नै सिंगो रात त तेसै बिताइदिन्थ्यौ तिमी

बोल्थ्यौ तिमी लाग्थ्यो आँफै बोल्दिदैछौ मेरा कुरा
बोली नफुट्दा मै मेरो तिमी गर्थ्यौ वाक्य पुरा
बिरामी भये एक्छिन रोये डराएर नीँद कहाँ
सम्हाल्थ्यौ पो कसरी खै छोइनसक्नु ती छुरा भुरा

दाँत कलिला लोभ धेरै लाग्थ्यो खानै सक्दिन झैं
तिमी चपाइदिन्थ्यौ पापा निलिदिन्थें म ज्ञानी भई
त्यती मिठो निल्दै पनि चपाउन त सिकेँ तर
आँफै चपाउनु पर्दा मुख को गाँस खेल्थ्यो मुखमै

हातै को न्यानो सिरानी मा रातभरी कथा सुन्दा
संगै कलम समाउँदा रमाउँदा तारा गन्दा
भन्थ्यौ त्यही ज्ञानी हुन्छ त्यहाँ टेक्न सक्छ जस्ले
भन्दिन्थेँ म अज्ञानी भै जुन लाई त्यहा टांस्यो कस्ले

छोइदिये मात्र तिम्ले तेसै मिठो हुन्थ्यो त्यो माम
नख्वाइद्ये के पुग्दैनथ्यो कुन्नी लाग्थ्यो खाम कि नखाम
खेल्दा सँगै हात समाउँदै चाहिन्थे अरु साथी कहाँ
तिमी पनि बिर्‍सिदिन्थ्यौ कहाँ धन्दा कता छ काम

किन यति धेरै माया लाग्छ तिम्रो सधैंभरी
आँखा चिम्ले पनि तिमी नाचिरहन्छौ वरीपरी
सपनामै देखेपनि फेरि जन्मे जस्तो लाग्ने
लुकिरहुं जस्तो लाग्ने तिम्रै काखमा घरिघरि


                                                         प्रेरणा-2068-03-25,saturday
                                                          9th july-2011 :)


















   

;)

here it goes! it reached 106..happy happy:) ...unmanaged me has started to manage her blog..oh ...my sister's gonna faint....she's just throwing and throwing punches on me .. but its good...i at least learnt to manage something :):) 8-) 

yes! i proudly know ''THE ART OF LIVING''

showing my teeth was always easy for me! 

but i know to smile now!! 
actually,smile from heart!


i never felt pain for wounds of others!
but now its everyone,i care for!


it was always me,waiting for a chance..
before i knew,oppurtunity will just leap on me!!


i now accept the truth and enjoy every company..
i'm no more same,wanting everything according to me!


i never thought of others..yes i negleted carelessly..
but now i think..
was that the same me..who loved myself only??


i was in search of complete me..
but how come i forgot??there are lot others,
walking with one leg only...
i used to worry,feel hopeless,i used to be lonely..
but now i've realised
there are millions around,seeking a hand for company..


and now i feel like-
i can behold the dreams of the sightless..
i can hear the songs of speechless..
i can crawl along with the wheelchairs..
and i feel totally complete here..


because i can do the things now, which the same me before could never even think to be able to do!!! 


yes!! i know ART OF LIVING!!!!

RAPED UNBORN!

                                          

everytime she screamed-her helpless mom,
it was striking her,so painful inside the womb..
still smiling-the unborn fawn,
waiting the moment she'll born down..
BUT,
how would she know?
how her mom was fighting with blood..
to save the small life,inside so poor..

slowly the canal left the fawn..
it got detached ! ooh she was falling down..

so happy...ooh so happy....
she was dreaming of her first sight -so bright..
almost sure that,
mummy dear will held her so tight..
BUT,
neither her mom was screaming now,
nor herself was getting down her way..
was her,waiting a breathe some ago,
she's the same now ,turning eyes away..

it was when mom's heart stopped and calmed down,
as the strength surrendered to save the unborn..

unbearable torture..oh unhealable pain..
so dreary was to be most beautiful day..
how nowhere existed the humanity oh earth!!
even raped in such a day..pushing the child far back away...

unknown of all these,still trying to breathe..
struggling down the lifeless mom,poor herself fighting with death...
he ran away, the beast-bloody coward and afraid..
seeing a fawn's hand, heading towards the land!!!

oh nobody saw them ..nobody saw them.

an unborn giving her hands for help..
a hand out,and mom dead herself..
how could her dream live now??how could she breathe??
oh poor living child was herself raped till death!!
                                                                                                    17th march-2012,saturday!    

                                                                                                     

my grandmother

when everyone show up,pat me and go,

she comes near me and drives my tears slow..

when she closes her eyes,

holding them roll down.

i feel more beloved,when she does so.
the time i see my pain in her face,

it just goes toughest; but i do cry less.

when her lap gets wet,

where my tears rest,

there's where her warmth..smelling its best.

BUT,
the utopia i reach,

and the heaven i feel.

is when i hide myself,
tight between her breasts.